I have never been so committed to getting this right. A community that I have been looking for for the past five years. As you know my consulting practice has taken me in various directions, metaphorically and physically. Hence, the product of all these tours, detours, reiterations, and close-calls are now lovingly produced into this community, The Provocateurs' Nexus. 

As I was talking to representatives of my target demographic, I noticed three qualifications which I think deserve its own explanation. 

They want EASY, NO RISK GUARANTEES!
We are bombarded with so much gizmos, gadgets, apps, and everything that involve making our lives easier. We are given promos that are time-sensitive to get us into action. We don't want any sleazy marketing. We want personalized, high touch attention. I hear you! Let the buyer buy without any hassle. 

They want NO GUILT, LAID-BACK PARTICIPATION.
I'm all for it. There is no sense of building a program for those who are overworked, underpaid, overly-stressed, and underpowered in their current roles who will not have any time or energy to devote to anything else. I can't emphasize this need very well. There's a space for lurkers, browsers, and introverts too. I will not be taking away time as opposed to be building personal efficacy over time. 

They want NO UNSOLICITED ADVICE.
Aside from effective facilitation and expert moderation in this instance, key is the adherence to values and principles laid out from the beginning. In any group dynamics, there could be misunderstanding which can lead to conflict or hurt feelings. The need to be respectful and supportive can be shown not just in giving or receiving advice. Giving advice when not welcome at all is just being insensitive. For this community, I'm leaning towards disclosing based on one's comfort level and encouraging conversations at a more general level and not particularly pointed to one or more individuals in the group. More of a teaching moment for everyone. 

If you want to know more, head to my page where I talked about the benefits, terms and conditions, no risks guarantees, stories, and more.

 


​When I immigrated to Canada on 13 July 2010, I had two suitcases and a big Balikbayan box (used to send goods home for families who stayed behind). At the immigration desk, I was asked about my show money- a money you guarantee that you have with you at the time of landing that you will survive in the next few days or weeks, or maybe if you have a lot, a few months to stave away destitution.


Where is your show money? To prove you can survive in Canada on a shoe-string budget and still feel happy with your decision to uproot yourself, your career, and your life for no apparent life-threatening reason but to improve your chances of greater success- whatever that is, a house mortgage, better education, fresher air and food, elevated status-The Great Canadian Dream.


Us, immigrants we all had it. The grim determination that we will no matter what it takes, overcome and will get that coveted Canadian passport, identity, language, and social ties under our belts at last. The folks back home will be super proud of what we have done and will say, better in Canada struggling than back home. 

As I eased into the new Canadian living, the show money transformed in a different way. 

Where is your Canadian experience? It's like saying that you will never make it here as a landed immigrant if you don't have the Canadian experience which is synonymous to "killing the immigrants softly." How exactly will you get the Canadian experience if nobody will take the risk of hiring you?  In order to survive, they have to take survival jobs which is like a penance of choosing Canada as their home.


In my last successful job interview, I told them, " I am fresh off the boat and with no Canadian work experience at all yet but I have travelled the world-world-weary and worldly enough to be flexible and adaptable." I got the job! They sure can't believe that I have just arrived and now competing against 500 work applicants in that city. The rest is history. 


The next show money question is different. It is all about in their heads, "what are your credentials that will allow us to respect you and believe that you can help?" This one is tough to crack. But, there's always a way around it. 

​Of all these questions, one thing is for sure, not all will be pleased and will accept who you are and what you're here for in this country, this city, this small town, and neighborhood. There will also be people like that. But as immigrants who discovered a new home, a new identity that could fuse with the old, and new relations on top of the discarded ones, suggest that we can completely write our own stories with ourselves as the main protagonists, despite the odds. I guess, striving to win every time. 

​There is a family member I know that walked into an equipment store and asked the store clerk, "Do you have a diarrhea? Sorry a screw instead. He was having one apparently and had to quickly check if he had the urge to go when the calamity strikes. But since, the word "D" is top of mind, that's the one that just got blurted out of the blue.

That hurt my stomach laughing at this silliest and most honest mistake. How come we can't seem to control our tongue in moments when we should be more polite or proper? Amazing, how this censorship out of our socialization gets thrown out of the window with a slip of a tongue,  or in a form of a half-joke, or a sarcasm hidden behind good flattery.

Our expression is what we all have and how we use language, control it, contort it and conceal its real meaning is a trait that requires its own perfection.  A sage person remarked, that "the one that can control his mouth, is the one that can control his destiny."

Except in a dire situation such as this when nature wants a release, it pays to have a complete rein in on our mouths. Less talk, less trouble.