Have you ever heard this phrase about leaders, that "It's lonely at the top."

You heard me, it could be lonely because..

You can't talk to your Board about your personal issues unless it's officially relevant..

You can't have pity parties with your staff and managers...

Your spouse and children have their issues to work on and besides, they are fed up with your constant need for a pep talk. 

Your bestie doesn't pretend that they can find you a solution, just a shoulder to cry on.

You can't talk to your peers, Managers and CEOs running their own organization because you compete with them on funding, volunteers, and policy space.

Seriously, this gets lonely when in specific issues where you need an impartial sounding board, there's no one to trust with that won't get your head axed.

There are many seminars, on-demand online workshops and educational resources.

But there's not substitute for a leadership coach that gets you from here to there in a nick of a time.

This coach will not be beholden to what you're fearing or interested in being part of the 'soup' you're in, therefore there is no incentive for him/her to act in conflict of interest or subvert his confidential mandate with you.

There is less on presenting a façade of perfection and organization, there is more effort focused on getting you the support that matters the most. 

Only a few people, some star performers and athletes could count on their coaches as a big part of their success because they believed in investing in themselves. 

The onus to win and become your best lies on you.

You can either invest or ignore this,  but don't complain when you feel all lonely when you have the power to never feel that way. 

A friendly reminder from your neighborhood leadership speaker, author, and coach. 

I was in an agri-show a few weeks ago and there, I met Ray.

Ray was the herd dog that was herding five ducks in a show to demonstrate how dogs can be good shepherd with proper training.

The ducks went into different obstacle challenges with Ray not barking once, but pre-empting the ducks' movements, nudging them to take a certain direction, and lastly, blocking their way so that they have no choice but to take the challenge.

It was a great experience to learn and see how Ray was a patient, methodical, and strategic herd.

I likened this to leaders who are trying their best to show their followers the way.

Through nudges, incentives and rewards, pre-emptions, and strategic blocks, leader fine-tune their styles to suit the temperaments of their team, the objectives at hand, and the process they had to be girded on. 

Herding is a process that requires high relational quotient. if your team doesn't trust you, your herding is scorned and ridiculed. 

Your attempts to pre-empt and redirect will be taken in contempt and mistaken to be self-serving.

Your nudges and subtle reminders will be ignored.

Like Ray, you don't need to bark to show them the way.

​Your subtle gestures are loud enough to warrant paying attention. 

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I was in a consultation meeting reviewing the latest Strategy document of an organization that I'm collaborating with when I discussed the importance of leadership development as one of the capacity strengthening priorities.

One of the consultants in the room, remarked that "some people don't want to become leaders in the organization." That it's not for everyone. 

So I reasoned out that, we need to be mindful of the barriers and disincentives of leading when in fact, the culture is not supportive and rewarding to become one.

I don't blame them.

Leaders get shot at first or fired.

They seldom get rewarded for what they did/doing/will do.

Often times, the organization has unrealistic/unachievable expectations of them.

There are many training, workshop, coaches, advisors, and audits to train anyone for a leadership role since high school, but a genuine self-assessment is a dime and a dozen.

They eat last (Sinek) but more than that, they don't eat until the rest of the team eats.

They are alone/solitary in their decision-making and personal development.

It takes a whole amount of vulnerability, commitment to continuing learning and improvement, regular receipt of useful feedback and self-sacrifices and self-abandonment to become a leader.

Yes, I agree, some would be great supervisors, managers, and directors without invoking to become leaders in the process.

But I doubt, that being a supervisor or manager, will cut it in these modern and complex organizations we find ourselves now. Emergent models of business, structure, delivery, operational efficiencies, among others require not just great managers but a more enlightened, empathetic, and 'just-right' amount of leadership too.

In my book: Provocateurs, I talked how well-meaning, intentional leaders can make a huge impact by being grounded about who they are and their willingness to share themselves with others. They lead from within themselves through their passion, purpose, provision, practice, and paradigms. 

In my opinion, this is a "Permission to Lead" situation. Managers must be permitted to lead by those they are closely working with and also permit themselves to become one.

We have in our generation, the capacity riches (gazillion of tools and know-how), rationale, and wherewithal to become effective leaders. 

Our ancestors who had less in life, who fought in World War 1 and 2 and other wars stepped up as leaders, even without much preparation, tools, or even choice. They just did it. 

We have a choice to lead and it doesn't mean the top position/role in a company/organization/community.

We can lead in our families, neighborhood, and anywhere where we can influence.

It's a golden opportunity to grow and become a better human in the process.

Take it with open arms.