Two playdates in a row this week.

A progress from a few months. 

I asked if she had friends in school.

"I don't have any."

"Why?" 

"Because they don't want to play with me."

"How long is this going on?"

"Couple of days now after the spring break."

"Why do you think is happening?"

"I don't know. They want to play with other kids not, with me."

A wants to play with E. 

Al wants to play with Av.

"E, Av, and A are all nice to me but sometimes, they play with each other."

"So what do you do when you're not playing with anyone during recess."

"I just walk around." 


There must be one, or two, or three.

Sometimes, no takers but in generally, there must be one. 

If you want a playmate, play with older kids, younger kids, play with boys, play with a teacher, a class monitor or an intern, play with a board game or a toy that you can play alone.

Find something that will keep you occupied and interested. 

I didn't grow up with a lot of friends in school and in the neighborhood, but I tried to busy myself with play stuff I can do around the house and in our yard. Plus I have a sister and a younger brother just in case I find playing alone boring. 

I caught butterflies and dragonflies, severed their wings and release them with glee. I  destroyed  little plants that fold when touched and caught  insects and kept them inside a matchsticks box or hid them in a small empty bottle. I painted my nails purple from the nectar of the purple plants and I tried to climb an aratiles tree and take the biggest, juiciest red fruit as snack. The rest was sold by my grandfather in the market for 10 pesos. 

I shoot birds with a make-shift sling from a skinned shortened bark of a tree with a big rubber-band tied to each side and a small pebble as an ammo. I saw this from my older brother and his friends with big wooden slings shooting birds all over the place. And I thought, "why do they get to do all the fun stuff?"

Who needs a playmate if you can conjure some adventures without rules? 

You can quit anytime you want and there'll be no disputes for sure.

You get bruises and wounds and nobody to blame for.

Two playdates in a row this week but in no-friends-day, find your thing.

​Grandma Frank passed away quietly a few weeks ago, like a ship sailing in the night.

She was 94 turning 95 this year.

With four children, five grandchildren, and one great grandchild, she had a blast. 

Having her is such a blessing. 

I would say I'm more blessed than the family because I was a granddaughter married to her grandson. 

I have the great fortune for being part of her last ten years. 

I met Grandma Frank in the summer of August 2015 when we were preparing for the wedding. 

She gave us our first stove which was replaced a few months ago courtesy of the local appliance store.

She visited my daughter n the hospital when she was two-days old and gifted us with a baby bath tub. 

She was warm-hearted, very polite as any person who lived almost a century would, and a brilliant conversationalist.

My daughter loves her stories. They really evoke certain imaginaries in your mind. She will take you back to 1920s gladly and with such passion. 

She was also very prim and proper. A relative of mine noticed during our wedding that she was seated with her hands on her lap to straighten the skirts from creasing too much.

"Oh how proper you are," my relative told her. And she said, "Of course, we have to be, always." That mischievous grin will always make you wonder if she's up to something.

She was famous for her 'Chicken recipe," which if I have more time, will give away for free. This chicken recipe caused a lot of excitement every time we cook the dish at my sisters' house. My niece and nephew which are now 20 and 15 years old, respectively don't tire of eating this at every occasion it's served. My nephew from the Philippines would want this to be packaged and sent out to Manila if possible. Mind you, he eats voraciously even now as a young man but eight years old, this kid had a great helping of the dish to the misfortune of others. But I won't tell how many drumsticks got dunked. 

But still, Grandma Franks' recipe beats all the Filipino, Korean, and Canadian knock-offs.

I've tried my best to get close to mastering her dish but my husband thinks Grandma Frank's original cooking is still unbeatable. I realized I may never get that close, although I have had many years of practice ever since. 

However, Grandma Frank would always say, "It's okay to do your own thing with the recipe. What matters is that you've tried to make it work. I just learned it from someone. So it's not that original."

You can't beat 94 years.

And I would wonder, if we can all get to that age with our sanity intact, like she did. 

If you ask me what I've learned from knowing and observing Grandma lived her life, I had a lot of that, which I have barely let loose underneath. 

And just like that, in the quietness of the moment, this great lady is gone and but will never be forgotten.


​
This and more at The Sentimental Provocateur Newsletter.
Subscribe Now. 

If you've been let go recently, people will say, "It's just a job, not your life. Lucky you, it could have been something else. Move on, you'll get a new one."

And then the crickets, more crickets, and more sleepless nights on what to do to pay the bills.

We don't necessarily think that the job we get is there for a lifetime, but we sure understand that there's no excuse to not have a Plan B. 

When you are down and out, nobody cares. 

You're on your own. 

But when success kicks in, either empirically or in perception, you instantly have new friends all of a sudden.

In moments when it feels like the world is crashing down, including a job loss or a future job that seems to be out of reach for the longest time. 

Take heart, have courage. 

This is the age of personal agency.

Get out of the "traditional job" box.

There are countless ways to earn income, some need an upfront cost of energy and time, and some are little things that you can start that accumulate over time. 

But you can definitely do that.

Develop your own "job" that will be financially sustainable and soul-enriching.

And as a consequence, create a new identity out of your new circumstance. 

You can practice slow living and more intentional spending.

This is not a hard and fast rule, but get yourself some grace.

Grace, my brothers and sisters, is something you need to take now with good doses.

So go out there, cheer up.

This morning when I woke up, the sun was shining as predicted.